Every once I’m a while I catch myself overthinking during a conversation — especially between two people. Has the art of argumentation completely disappeared from society? (Or was it ever even there to begin with?)

A deep and rather shallow question so far, I’m aware.

Arguments and debates are pretty common to the atmosphere of schooling I currently come from. As such there are two assumptions that I have about arguments - which are, by no means exhaustible - to understanding a two person:

Arguments Perpetuate Themselves

I find it hard to believe - sometimes - that arguments come from stout convictions. I’ve written another post already about personal conviction, and arguments seem to highlight this very problem in people: that opinions are easily swayed to mould an argument.

This isn’t a terrible thing. From what I can tell, this is how we shape a conviction and a sense of personal opinion on matters. But too often this compass that points in the direction of our preferences swings when we are in a position or high stakes.

Arguments seldom come across as premeditated. We become parodies of “arguments” themselves, lacking a purpose and a statement of truth when we, ourselves, have none in mind.

Instead, our argumentative ideas tend to be cumulative or responsive to the other argumentee’s debate. Rebutting is one thing, but oppositional argumentation is another. Too often arguments are simply made to counteract a point instead of giving an alternative view that isn’t necessarily oppositional.

Listening is a Part of Argumentation

Psychology has been wrestling with this for a while, especially in relationship counseling and other support services.
The main figure (please don’t hold me accountable for the number) is that over 60% of people are meditating on a response whilst another person is talking.

Read a book on a train and listen try to listen to the people across from you and their conversation about how much Budweiser they had over the weekend. It’s kind of hard to process both the book narrative and the speech narrative at the same time.

There’s a reason why listening and thinking are almost always mutually exclusive and why silence (or only small unobtrusive noises) are the most conducive to an environment when studying for a test.

Listening fully, without the midway brain annotations, is the best formula for producing a good response - even if that means taking a second after to actually stop and formulate an argument based on what you just heard.

An argument is entirely, utterly, disgustingly, unmodestly, and figuratively about YOU. You want to show off, you rebutt, you have a listener to your ideas (and sometimes a legitimate audience), you are being judged. Make the judgement count, because a proficient argumentee is one who remembers to dot their I’s and cross their T’s so that everyone in the room can see exactly why they did it.

Don’t cross your I’s before the sentence is even written.